Grizzly Moose

This interview is reprinted with permission by an alien publication (whose name cannot be written in any human language) but I can assure you that it is read by quintillions across the Andromeda Galaxy.  It was published a hundred years ago by Andromeda reckoning.

So one day my dear old friend Couch The Penguin asked me if I had ever met a Moose that was Raised by Humans as a human. I told him that I not been back to Earth in roughly a thousand years and had never heard of such a thing. He suggested that I take time out of my busy touring schedule to get to know this chap who called himself Grizzly Moose. Now I’m not one to cancel show and abandon my fans but That was Couch The Penguin after all. While the things he suggests, demands or asks of you may seem odd there is almost always greatness affiliated with them. So I got on my luxury spaceship and traveled back to my homeworld to meet this Grizzly Moose.

This is the conversation we had.

TL: So you’re a moose living in a human world, correct?

GM: Yah, of course.

TL: Did you always know you were a moose, or was it something you became aware of as you grew older?

GM: No, I didnt always know. I spent the first eight years of my life thinking I was completely human. But in retrospect, I should of known.

He held up his feet to reveal large hooves, unlike anything I have ever seen on a human.

TL: You feet have always looked like that?

GM: Yeah, you think I would of figured it out but it took me eight years.

TL: Don’t be so hard on yourself. I didn’t know I was destined to be the most famous musician in the galaxy until I left this planet at eight twenty-five.

GM: I never heard of you until Couch told me that you were going to interview me.

TL: I’m much too famous to be known on this planet.

GM: That doesn’t make any sense.

TL: Now, getting back to you. What happened at eight years old that made you realize that you are in fact a moose?

GM: I had some medical issues, that I won’t get into, but suffice it to say it was something that a human would never have to deal with.

TL: how did it make you feel when you realized your family had lied to you for so long?

GM: At first I was angered, upset and I cried a lot but I had to learn to stop doing that?

TL: Stop crying?

GM: Yes.

TL: Why were you not allowed to cry?

GM: It made my parents upset, they would yell at me and ground me.

TL:

 

 

Facebook Comments