Sexual Education Reinvented

It has long been the dream and ambition of smart people everywhere to make other people smart too. The problem is smart people use logic and logic is hard to explain to someone who is not smart. It is a wall that only a creative mind can pass through. This I, a mildly smart and creative moose, have solved a very dire and important problem that many of not most liberals face: educating young people about birth control.

The logical thing would be, in any world moose or human to expound all the knowledge that any person, man or woman, would need to engage in sex safely. A simple concept to be sure, but for the non-logical amongst us a difficult notion to fathom. So how do we reach these people and moose who walk, talk, sleep and most importantly fuck amongst us?Simple, we get creative. We take something that is beloved by everyone, the logical and illogical alike, and use it to trick these people into gaining the knowledge that we wish them to have.

That thing happens to be nothing other and more simple than sports.

All middle and high schools have sports teams and they are generally loved by most of the students and fans in the surrounding communities. Now on any given weekend a scene like this can be seen in any small town or large city America:



A whole evening for all involved, I’m sure, but not helpful for our cause. Imagine the same scene like this:


Or this:


Or even:


Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying. You know exactly what I’m talking about. We should change all of our high school mascots to different forms of birth control. Cause hey we won’t be teaching it, but we’ll sure as hell be rooting for it.I believe in sporty terms that’s a win-win, or something the other.

So lets get out there, be create and stop babies from being born conceived.


– Moose out

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